Book Review by Jack Falt
This book on parenting focuses more on the parent than on the child. Enneagram theory postulates that each of us is born with one main defence mechanism that can become a compulsion and interfere with our own development and our interactions with others. How strong that compulsion is depends mainly on the amount of stress within the home the person experienced as a child growing up. As you become aware of your personality drives, you become more concerned not to inflict them on your children. Included in the book is a questionnaire that may help you determine your Enneagram parenting style. (Personally, I didn’t relate all that well to the questions. Also, Enneagram questionnaires as yet are not very accurate in predicting one’s Enneagram type. The didactic method is still the method of choice.)
There is a chapter for each of the nine Enneagram personality types. There are several lengthy anecdotal descriptions of each of the personality types as parents including both fathers and mothers. The chapters go on to describe various parental behaviours that may be a problem to the child rearing process, and then gives possible solutions. The chapters conclude with a set of parenting steps for the personality types to follow.
The appendix includes a history of the Enneagram and also discusses the avoidances, growth paths and gifts of each type.
This book would be very useful to an individual or a group studying the relationship of Enneagram types and parenting styles. It is very readable. It also adds insight into the concept of Enneagram types. I would hesitate to suggest it to a parent who did not have a least have some knowledge about the Enneagram. While the book does cover the essentials of the Enneagram, it might take people a while to figure out what it was all about. I would still rate this book as very worthwhile.