Appreciating Differences - Jack Falt - Ottawa area, Ontario, Canada

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Book Review by Jack Falt

Bowles, Clare, If Only You could Read My Mind: A guide to help couples understand each other and connect, Burnstown, ON: General Store Publishing House, 2000, ISBN 1-894263-26-X, 108 pp

The cartoon of a couple each reaching past the other is what attracted me to pick up this book. Then when I flipped through it and saw that it was Psychological Type based, I bought it for my collection.

This is a book that a couple therapist wrote and had published to fill a need. It is something a couple could take away with them and are likely to read. Usually the couple can understand the concepts in the therapist’s office but when they get back home the ideas get rather fuzzy. This book is short enough with lots of examples that it is likely to be read and understood.

There is a movement within the type community to look at the whole type and its complexity, but most of us working in the trenches are still dealing with helping people understand the differences within the eight preferences. Usually we don’t have them long enough to get into anything more complex than the difference between being an introvert and an extrovert, etc.

This book does just that. It looks at how relationships have changed over the years due to changing roles of men and women. Then it devotes a chapter to each of the dimensions of behaviour with lots of short examples of dialogue. The last four chapters deal with better listening techniques, how to be understood, dealing with anger and criticism, and other difficult communication issues. Each of these relates to the information on type gained in the previous chapters.

This is a book I would recommend to professionals and casual readers. The professionals can gain some additional anecdotes they can use in their sessions and it is a book to recommend to their clients. The casual reader can also just pick it up, read it and gain some useful insights without having someone more knowledgeable to interpret it.

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