Book Review by Jack Falt
Ruth Ward has just amplified this idea into a whole book about self-esteem. This book is a revision of her previous book written in the mid-eighties. The author is the wife of a Baptist minister and a counsellor in her own right. The book has a ‘religious’ flavour with references to God and scripture references sprinkled sparingly throughout, but its homy discussion about everyday living more than makes up for this style. Even those, who are rather turned off by anything remotely ‘religious,’ should enjoy and find this book useful.
The book discusses the need we all have for self-esteem and the negative consequences when we are deprived of it. There is a check list to help you measure your own self-esteem. Then the book devotes a chapter to each of the preferences. Each preferences is considered a gift from God and we tend to lack self-esteem when we and others don’t see our preference as a gift but a hindrance. Each chapter has a check list to help confirm if you have that preference. In this way the book is useful in helping people validate their own type.
The charm of this book is that it uses so many everyday examples of people discovering how they are different from others and that their way is still valid. E.g. “When asked, ‘Are you sensitive to noise?’ an introvert college student responded emphatically, ‘Noise just magnifies in my head until it nearly drives me crazy!’ Immediately, an extravert involved in the same discussion blurted out confidently, ‘I love noise!’”
There are tips on how to appreciate each of the preferences. Then it looks at how the preference plays out in marriage, in the family, at school, at work, and at church. The author uses the metaphor of a group on a bicycle trip to illustrate each preference. For introverts, she writes, “Introverts are easy to spot on our bicycle trip because they are generally riding alone or with just one or two others.”
There is a chart of the 16 types with a thumbnail sketch of each type. Then there are half page descriptions of each of the 16 types. The author has tips on how opposite preferences can better get along with one another. She closes with a chapter on how being overweight can be a source of low self-esteem, and some tips on how to achieve one’s ideal weight.
This book could be used in a study group, particularly in a church setting. After reading each chapter, it would encourage people to share their lives with one another and help them to better see their own gifts.
The references are a bit dated, using Keirsey’s Please Understand Me (1978) for population figures. This shows up most in E-I figures which are now estimated to be relatively equal, and the almost equal T-F distribution for males. In her type descriptions she notes whether each type is mostly male or female. To me this emphasises that one gender is out of step with the stereotype. I feel it would have been better to have left this statement out and also not include the percentages if she was not going to use the latest statistics. Other than that I feel this is a worthwhile book to add to your library.