Appreciating Differences - Jack Falt - Ottawa area, Ontario, Canada

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Booklet, Cassette and Quick Cards Review by Jack Falt

Michel, Sarah, Perfecting Connecting: Learning to Speak the Language of Others, Huntington Beach, CA: Telos, 2004, ISBN 0-9712144-9-2, 32 pp, references. Also one audio cassette - 58 min.: Perfecting Connecting: Learning to Speak the Language of Others: An Interview with Sarah Michel. Quick Card: Perfecting Connecting™ and the Four Temperament: Learning to Speak the Language of Others & Perfecting Connecting™ Success: Lessons Learned from Each Temperament, Telos, 2003.

This short booklet tells you everything you need to know about networking, especially for those of us who have grit our teeth and do it whether we want to or not. There are some very valuable tips given that even the introvert and/or shy person can use and feel reasonably comfortable with.

The process is based on Keirsean temperaments using the four animals as metaphors for the four temperaments. It points out how people tend to communicate using their temperament preference “language,” although as we get more experienced we usually become more adaptable and are able to use all four “languages.”

Often these booklets are just filled with useful facts and charts but Michel goes beyond that. She has a very personable style and gives many anecdotes from her personal life and her workshops. She has a number of “rules” to follow such as the Rule of Twelve: “Learn the rule of twelve: the first twelve words you use, the first twelve physical movements you make (handshake, eye contact, etc.), and the first twelve inches from your neck up are what people will remember the most about meeting you for the first time.”

One of the biggest errors people make when they try to do networking is to think of what they can get out of the contact. Once they get what they want they forget about the contact. To do effective networking, be more concerned with what you can give other person. Keep the channels of communication open. When people see you as a helpful person, they are much more inclined to go out of their way to be helpful to you. It may sound a bit manipulative but it really is in the spirit of the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

The other big key to effective networking is to tailor an answer to that ubiquitous question: “So, what do you do?” This is your opportunity to give a powerful introduction about yourself. You prepare a short statement that you feel comfortable with that conveys in a dynamic way your track record, how you do what you do and its benefit to clients or the community. This adds greatly to that first impression that is so important.

The booklet has a number of worksheets that are very helpful. The booklet is one that a temperament facilitator could use for an add-on to a basic temperament workshop. It is also a booklet that could be given to clients with little or no explanation.

The one hour cassette tape is sold separately. It is presented in an interview format. Michel is a very perky Artisan and comes across a bit like an infomercial, but she is delightful and gets her points across well. While the booklet stand on its own, the tape is an asset as well. This booklet/tape set could be very effectively used with career counselling and training, as well as sprucing up one’s own networking skills.

The Quick Card Lessons Learned from Each Temperament gives in point form what each temperament has to contribute to a company. These points are useful skills to remember when networking. The specific temperament likely performs these skills naturally, while you may have to consciously make the effort.

On side two Learning to Speak the Language of Others gives pointers on how to connect to each of the four temperaments, emphasising ways that will engage them.

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