Appreciating Differences - Jack Falt - Ottawa area, Ontario, Canada

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Book Review by Jack Falt

VanSant, Sondra S., Wired for Conflict: The Role of Personality in Resolving Differences, Gainesville, FL: CAPT, 2003, ISBN 0-935652-68-X, 105 pp, bibliography, no index.

The book is a welcome addition to what has been written on using personality type to understand and deal with conflict that occurs in the world of work and interpersonal relationships. Not all conflict problems can be solved using type, but very often an understanding of type can speed the process along.

The book begins by an overview of personality type and then shows how each of the four dynamics of behaviour can create conflict differences. The author uses Gordon Lawrence’s Z formation as an outline for the process of conflict resolution. The importance of type dynamics is stressed.

The function pairs looks at how each pair reacts to conflict, characteristics of satisfactory resolutions, approaches to solving conflict, communication needs and potential blind spots. Individual variation of specific types are included in a chart.

When you is in a conflict, even if you know your own type, you may not know the type of the other person. Some of clues to type will be body language. General points are listed as well as considering the use of touch and the impact of culture on body language.

The author uses the Thomas-Lilmann approach to understanding of conflict handling. On a graph relating assertiveness and cooperativeness, it is possible to link personality types to the five major positions: avoiding, competing, compromising, accommodating, and collaborating. The research shows that the perceiving functions have little to do with conflict resolution, while E-I, T-F, and J-P are significant. It is interesting to be aware of what one’s own conflict resolution style is. As an INFJ, I tend to be an avoider and hope the problem will just go away. I would have to make an extra effort to move into a proactive stance. It is interesting that ETJ males tend to be competitive, while ETJ females are more compromising.

The second half of the book looks at a model for resolving conflict in seven steps and outlines in detail how the process might be used. There is also a chapter devoted to when type is appropriate and not appropriate to use in a conflict situation. These are good cautions to be aware of. Sometimes type can actually exacerbate a situation.

The first appendix goes through the seven steps with a specific problem, demonstrating the process using two types in conflict. The second appendix looks at a Jungian perspective on response to the stress inherent in conflict.

This is an excellent book that covers the topic of conflict in a small number of pages and yet it is thorough enough to meet the needs of both the practitioner of Jung/Myers theory as well as a resource handout for a workshop. It is so well laid out that I can see it being easily adapted to a PowerPoint presentation. It is also very readable for the layperson who has little or no previous experience with personality type.

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